Good Grief!

by Dale Reeves

Story Pastor

The two-word phrase first appeared in a comic strip on June 6, 1952. It might be Charlie Brown’s most famous catchphrase. Poor old bad luck Charlie used the phrase whenever he felt overwhelmed, stressed, defeated, or disappointed by life, such as when Lucy pulled the football away from him just as he was about to kick it, and he landed on his back . . . again! Thanks to the wonders of AI, I now know that Lucy pulled the football away from Charlie Brown a grand total of thirty-seven times in the original Peanuts newspaper comic strips.

Created by cartoonist Charles M. Schulz, the phrase became the ultimate definition of his character as a lovable loser in life, and became even more well known when voiced in animated TV specials like A Charlie Brown Christmas.

• “Good grief!” Charlie sighs, after Lucy demands to know if he thinks she is beautiful.

• “Good grief! One hundred and eighty-four to nothing! I don’t understand it . . . How can we lose when we’re so sincere?” Charlie asks, lamenting another brutal baseball game loss.

• “Good grief!! I’m floating out to sea!” exclaims Charlie, as he is getting soaked by a downpour while standing on pitcher’s mound, still wearing his baseball glove.

Is There Such a Thing?

The past three weeks I’ve spoken at or attended three memorial services. At one of the services, I said these words, “We’re made in the image of God, and we know that God grieves. This grief is a way that God has enabled us to get through the transitions of life. Did you know that it was a custom in Bible times when people were mourning that you would catch your tears in a bottle, and then give them to that person as a token of your affection and care? David tells us that it is God who collects our tears and records them in his book because he knows us intimately, he remembers our sorrows, and catches every tear.”

“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book” (Psalm 56:8, NLT).

The apostle Paul tells the followers of Jesus, “And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have diedso you will not grieve like people who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13, NLT).

Paul is telling us that grief is a normal part of our human existence, but we don’t need to have the same kind of sadness without hope if our loved one was a follower of Jesus. Christians certainly experience pain, sorrow, and loss but their sadness is mixed with the promise of eternal life and a future reunion through Jesus Christ. We know that a physical death is not the end of the story, because we believe in the resurrection, and realize that death is a temporary separation rather than a permanent goodbye.

If taken literally, is “Good Grief” an oxymoron, or is there in fact, anything “good” about it? I’ve heard it said before that grief is the price we pay for love. I’ve heard it said that someone experienced pain and hurt so deeply when they lost a loved one because the depth of their love was so deep! Could that be the good part of one’s grief?

Giving God Access to Your Grief Journey

As Jesus was making his way toward his crucifixion at Golgotha, Luke records this detail for us: “A large crowd trailed behind, including many grief-stricken women. But Jesus turned and said to them, ‘Daughters of Jerusalem, don’t weep for me, but weep for yourselves and for your children’” (Luke 23:27, 28, NLT). As Jesus, bleeding profusely, staggered toward the site of his crucifixion, in the midst of his physical and emotional suffering, he didn’t just stop and acknowledge their sympathy for him. He told them that their sympathy was misdirected—that instead of feeling pity for him, they should consider the perilous state they were in. He wanted them to see that there was something for which they needed to weep with a far greater concern—namely, the judgment that awaited Jerusalem if its inhabitants would persist in their unbelief and rejection of him.

As one who grieved at the death of his very close friend Lazarus, Jesus understands that emotion, and he cares about our grief. He longs to heal the brokenhearted. Someone has said, “Trauma is what happens to us. Grief is what lingers.” But I have learned that if we will allow God into our grief journey, that is often where he does his best work in us. And, often God does it through those we surround ourselves with.

That’s why I am excited to lead another Grief Recovery Method class beginning in two weeks in our church building. When we talk about dealing with losses, most people think of the death of a loved one, or a divorce. But losses also include things like moving to another location, a job loss, losing a pet, losing trust in someone, a loss of innocence, a life-altering disease or physical disability, or retiring from work. Tragedy hits all of us at one time or another. You get knocked down for any number of reasons, and you feel physically wiped out, emotionally drained, and spiritually empty. It’s as if someone has literally reached their bare hands into your chest and ripped out your heart. Yet, at some point, we must begin to recover and recharge after our loss.

The Grief Recovery class we offer meets for eight consecutive weeks, with the goal of coping after a painful loss. We will meet at Christ’s Church on Thursday evenings, September 24—November 12, from 6:30-8:30 pm in rooms C1 and C2. I love facilitating these groups because even though every person’s grief journey is unique, it is a beautiful thing to see others come alongside one another’s grief, as we all experience some healing together. If you or someone you know would benefit from this eight-week journey of Grief Recovery, please register for this class here. 

It is a myth that “Time heals all wounds.” That is simply not true, but learning how to process through grief and surrounding yourself with a caring community certainly can help. One of my favorite descriptions that Dr. Luke gives us about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is this: “He went around doing good and healing all who were under the power of the devil, because God was with him” (Acts 10:38, NIV). Jesus set the perfect example for us in doing the right thing, bringing goodness and healing into others’ lives. He tells us we can do the right thing as well when we choose to bring God into our journeys and decide to follow his leading. And, that may be part of what can be called “Good Grief.”